howandwhen | tfln

1) No, that won't be why they miss you the most, 2) they can use the cash money to get rides.

Ah, see? So it will be a kidnapping after all.

[ yeah, we're ignoring that right now. ]

Robin.

( 😤 stop ignoring his ENTIRELY SENSIBLE reality check!!! )

Steve.

[ pass. but thanks for the offer ]

Look, I don't like it either. I don't know what I'm supposed to do when you're gone.

( ostensibly he will be fine. but his big dumb heart HURTS about it 😭 )

well, fine. if you're not going to go for the kidnapping plan.
one of the things you'll have to do is take over making fun of Keith

( Steve can see the opening here, to navigate them away from something more serious to jokes. their safe place. he should take it, but he doesn't. )

Buckley, you're missing the point. I would go with you if I could, all right? I just can't.

[ damn. she was not braced for another serious reply ]

I know that, shut up
I know you would and I know you can't
I just need to bitch about it
so can you, by the way
make your own jokes about kidnapping or sabotaging all the cars in town or stealing my mail or some shit
now you even have options, you're welcome
I'm not missing the point, I just hate it

( oh. that makes more sense. now he feels bad. on top of already feeling bad. because summer will be here and gone before they know it and then Robin will be gone too and he's not sure what he's gonna do without her. dedicate himself entirely to being the Henderson taxi?

Henderson won't even need a taxi that much longer, anyway. )

I don't wanna joke about it because then I gotta think about it and it fucking blows.
Not that I'm not happy for you and shit because I am, just... jesus.
I'm gonna miss you.
I feel like I miss you already and you haven't even gone yet and that's goddamn stupid, right?

you were managing not to think about it?
how?

nah
well
yeah, it is
but we're both stupid

[ the bitching isn't even really helping all that much, which is just plain bullshit as well ]

Nobody said I never thought about it. Making jokes means thinking about it more.

( he's good at trying to turn his brain off when it wanders places he doesn't want to go, that doesn't mean he's always successful. so he doesn't need to make it harder on himself by thinking about how Robin is leaving much sooner than later at this point if he can help it. )

You're not stupid. You're going to college. That's like, the opposite of stupid.
We just gotta clear out our friend to do list before you go, so, it won't feel so bad.

okay, fine, fair point

[ maybe it was a little cruel to bring it up, in retrospect ]

we have a friend to do list?
what's on our friend to do list?

Like when you said we should go to that nerd thing in Indy. ( he means the renaissance fair, but to be honest Steve's not sure how to spell "renaissance." )

Or when you said you'd go with me to a Bulls game if nobody you knew was there.
Teaching you to drive.
There's gotta be more than that.

Oh, that list.
And you're SURE we can't add kidnapping to that list? kidding, kidding

There's definitely still a bunch of movies on that list.
We've got to still be forgetting stuff.

Yeah. That list. The mostly in our heads until right now list. I'm writing it down and we're crossing it all off. Even seeing that big ass ball of paint you don't believe is real.

We're gonna do it all, you got it? Even the stuff we forgot.

And maybe I'll let you kidnap me every once and awhile.

( aka... he will drive down... and haunt her dorm room. she is not losing him THAT easily. OK !!!! )

You're writing it down?
Bout time you took responsibility for one of the friendship lists.

[ obviously that translates to that's really freaking sweet and she's touched ]

There's no way that paint ball is real. It's not possible. How would you get paint into a ball? It's a liquid.

YES, I got it. What, you're expecting me to argue?
Every once and awhile kidnappings are an acceptable compromise.

Well yeah. You can't cross it out in your mind.

( DUH, Robin. c'mon. )

It's a baseball under all the paint. You believe in a moth the size of a human being but you can't believe in a giant ball of paint?

You argue about everything, so, I gotta be ready when you stick your heels in.

Yes, you can. You just picture it and then you picture crossing it out.
But having a physical copy would be cooler. Who gets to keep it when we've crossed everything off?

[ they're never going to cross everything off. she's going to keep adding stuff up until their joint funerals or whatever. ]

If it's a baseball under all the paint, then it's not a giant ball of paint, it's a giant baseball that's been painted.
And you can't tell me Mothman isn't at least PLAUSIBLE with all the other shit we've seen. Maybe some other foreign government was experimenting in West Virginia.

Yeah, whatever.

I don't know. You can keep it.

( Steve is very sentimental and DOES squirrel away important friend mementos. he just can't ADMIT he squirrels away their friend mementos. so he must forfeit the friend list to the more acceptably sentimental party in their friendship. )

The baseball is normal sized, it's all the paint that makes it giant. Look, you just gotta see it to get it.

I'm just saying it isn't more believable than a ball of paint I've definitely already seen before. Where's the faith, Buckley, huh? )

No interest at all? No arguing? Wow. I'm offended.

Okay, okay, fine. We'll see if I'm impressed by this giant paint-baseball that you're already totally in love with. Do they sell miniature giant paint baseballs? Do you already have one?

My faith is reserved for stuff I like believing in and having faith in. Anything else gets light to mild doubt or grudging acceptance.
Okay, maybe that's not true, but it sounds cool, doesn't it?

Jesus. Fine. I'll keep it then. ( honestly they do bicker like siblings don't they ... )

I'm not in LOVE with it. It's just a place you go when you're in Madison county. Take pictures next to it and pretend it's crushing you or whatever.

If you save it for stuff you like then you should believe me all the time. ( he knows u LIKE HIM BESTIE 🥰😇 )

Well, actually... it's probably going to be more than one page, right? so we could split it. it'd be cool to hang a page on the wall of my dorm.

Can we take turns pretending we've pushed it to crush each other?

[ damn, he's got her there. ]

Aw, Steve. You're not stuff.

( 🥹😭❤️ her DORM room??? !? wait ok no no he's totally fine about this he's not getting misty sentimental AT ALL )

We're gonna have to go double time to fill out two pages before you go to school. Remember that when I make you get up early for the inevitable road trip.

Stuff, schmuck. Same difference.

[ wait til he says that's she putting multiple pics of them up there too.
admittedly some of them are going to be pictures he'll hate but oh well ]

Ugh, fine.
but I'm not promising I won't go back to sleep in the car.

Okay, fine.
[ one day it might be a problem that the word schmuck makes her sentimental now ]
I do believe IN you all the time.
I just also sometimes believe you're full of bologna.

( it is unfortunate that Steve is very vain and can be QUITE particular about how he looks in photos. luckily for Robin she put whatever she wants on her dorm room wall and he just has to deal with it. )

You can't sleep on a roadtrip. That's the one rule of a roadtrip.

Well I believe in you all the time too. Even when you're doing that thing where you think things are true just because you've spent too long freaking out about them.

[ she'll offer him one veto. maybe. possibly. ]

That's the only rule of a roadtrip?
Okay, deal. I look forward to finding out how quickly you want to add more rules.

You say that like I'm some kind of crazy person but those things COULD be true
and I'm going to stand by that it was better safe than sorry that we got you tested for rabies for the rest of both of our lives

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