tfln

[howandwhen]

01. is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?

02. I told a kid that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

03. I can't tell if you're asking me for permission or for my blessing.

04. Just because I trust you with my life doesn't mean I trust you around either explosives or sharp tools

05. are you the reason I woke up without pants?

06. [Text her.]

Comments

@polemical

[howandwhen]

huh.
I wonder if the Russians WERE involved from when ground broke

@babysitters

[howandwhen]

SO little faith
very rude of you tbh

so you're going to brainwash me, that's what I'm hearing

[babysitters]

I trust you plenty. It is the tiny psycho I don't trust.

Brainwash you in a good way. Yeah.

( isn't that what friendship is all about? brainwashing in a good way? )

[howandwhen]

I have a whole countertop to help keep the tiny psycho away from me!

alright, IF that turns out to be true, I'll thank you afterwards
which movies are going to be part of this line up?

[babysitters]

You think a tiny psycho would be stopped by a counter?

I can't decide if it'll make my job easier or harder if you know what to expect.

[howandwhen]

She's gonna be slowed down by it at least

I want to know, so I just decided it'll make your job harder if I don't know what to expect

[babysitters]

I'll tell you a few. That's all you get.

Star Wars Christmas. But we can't start there. We'll work our way up to it.

No, we'll start with the one where this dog thinks he's Santa. Benji something. Just trust me.

[howandwhen]

Oh, you're taking this very seriously, okay

Kinda doesn't match with the vibe of "the one where the dog thinks he's Santa" but okay.
The more you say just trust me the more doubts I have, though

[babysitters]

Of course this is serious. I'm trying to get you to understand the magic of bad Christmas movies.

Wow. The more I say it the more you should trust me. When am I wrong about stuff I think you'll like? BESIDES that one time I told you you'd like mixing pop rocks and vodka.

[howandwhen]

If it's magic, you shouldn't have to try at all.

Okay, fine, maybe you usually don't suck at that, but saying 'trust me' over and over is just inherently suspicious.
And the pop rock vodka incident was enough to count as more than just one time.

[babysitters]

Only book magic is easy. I practiced a shit ton to pull quarters out of Henderson's ear. And he was only impressed by that trick for like, two weeks.

Well I wouldn't have to tell you to trust me if you'd just trust me! This doesn't have anything to do with vodka OR pop rocks so why wouldn't you.

[howandwhen]

Steve
dude
how old was he when he was impressed by the quarters for two weeks? did you actually become team mom way longer back than I thought?

okay, fine, fine, I trust you
geez
there are gonna be snacks, though, right? not vodka and pop rocks but something?

[babysitters]

It's not like he thought it was actually coming out of his ear. It's just cool to be able to do it. Have you tried its kinda hard.

( but now that she puts it like that IT hAS bEen A lONg tiMe....... Dustin used to be a chubby cheeked middle schooler and now Henderson is off to highschool??? that's wild. insane really. time needs to goddamn chill already. )

You're humoring the bad movies so I can do snacks. I can handle snacks.

[howandwhen]

it would have been very impressive if you managed to make him actually believe it
no, I've never tried to pull quarters out of anyone's ears

fantastic
you're getting more trustworthy every second now

[babysitters]

Unless you need to entertain a bunch of babies or want to be a fun aunt one day, you probably don't need to start.

I'm the most trustworthy guy you know, Buckley. Don't you forget it.

@bubblegumheart

[howandwhen]

um
maybe, to myself, if it was an embarrasing type of adorable
what did I do?

[bubblegumheart]

Oh, you had a bit to drink and then insisted that your pants were on fire and they had to come off. And then you looked like you were going to fall over at any moment so I offered to help.

[howandwhen]

...

They weren't actually on fire?

[bubblegumheart]

They absolutely were not on fire, but you wouldn't be convinced.

[howandwhen]

yeah, that tracks
thank you for humoring me
and somehow thinking that was adorable instead of just bizarre and ridiculous
and embarrassing

[bubblegumheart]

It wasn't any trouble! I didn't want you to fall over. And you looked really excited about it so I didn't mind helping.

[howandwhen]

i absolutely would've fallen over if you didn't help me
And then i probably would have just stayed on the ground for who knows how long
Which might have been more embarrassing

Point being that i DEFINITELY owe you one

[bubblegumheart]

See. This is why I had to help.

And that's just silly. You don't owe me anything, Robin.

[howandwhen]

You saved me from theoretically burning pants, of course I owe you.

[bubblegumheart]

Okay, I can't really argue when you put it that way.